I went down the street yesterday to pick up Lizzies birthday cake. An icecream cake. When I said I was there to pick up the cake the woman said to me - I'll just get you to mind the shop while I go and get it.

Umm, ok, sure.

Well it was 9am so I wasn't expecting to be rushed off my feet.

So she brings back the cake, looks good, I take it home then go about my day. I pick Lizzie up from school at 3.30 and when we get home she says can I look at the cake. I say, sure, and get it for her to have a look. And she says

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?????

And I say - what?

And she says - WHAT IS IT DOING IN THE FRIDGE???

Oops. So thats six and a half hours in the fridge. I was hardly game to open the box, but it wasn't running out the sides so that was good. We opened it and I said - DON'T TOUCH IT! Just in case it was barely holding together and one finger poke sent it into a slow collapse. So I put it in the freezer for four hours and it was fine. Anyway the one I had last year was so bloody frozen I just about needed a chainsaw to cut it. Now I'm not a huge ice cream fan but it wasn't bad.

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And Kimba made a suprise visit which was good of her,  seeing as how it meant being on a 6.40am train this morning to get back home in time for work. And she also arranged for flowers to be delivered to Lizzie yesterday.

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let 'em be plumbers and doctors instead.

I shall never understand the timetable of the tradesman. After being told not to expect to see him for about two weeks, Lizzie stumbled out of bed at 7.30 this morning and said - the plumbers here. And I said - whadaya mean the plumbers here? And she said - he's here, in the hallway

So he set to work with some really noisy equipment that I'm sure the neighbours were thrilled to hear. And now our pipes are fixed. And hopefully the toilet will not overflow again. I asked him if he had a bill for me and he said it would be sent in the mail. I'd say thats probably because he hasn't done a first aid course and doesn't want women dropping from heart attacks or panic attacks when they find out how much it's going to cost. Anyway all my hard work at water conservation went down the drain this morning. Lizze said - can I go to the toilet, and I said - no, he's out there with the tap running. But when I went to look he was nowhere in sight but the tap ran full blast for about 15 minutes.

So then I raced off to the doctors and when I was waiting my turn,  this boy came in with x rays and a swollen arm, and I just knew that little prick was going to get to go before me. And when he did I thought that if I fainted due to low blood pressure that the problem was probably resolving itself right at that moment. So an hour later I got to see caesar. He said I'm fine and to just go on as normal. He checked my ear and said it was a bit shiny and pink. Oops. I didn't tell him that may be because I scrape around in there with a bobby pin. My Nan used to do it when we were kids. We'd sit in the sun and she'd clean our ears with a bobby pin. Anyway, he said something about blood vessels in your stomach opening up and taking the blood from your head - I can't remember the name. He said some people experience it when the pass urine. The blood vessels all open and drain the blood from the head. He said my blood pressure was a bit high - not enough to worry about. But he did think I have arthritis in my thumb so he gave me some tablets to take for two weeks to see if it makes a difference. And he bulk billed me, so bonus.

Imagine passing out when you did a wee. Very inconvenient!

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I fainted last night.

Thats something new.

I woke up and thought I heard Kimba crying at about midnight. So I got up and walked down the hallway and when I got to her door I heard she was on the phone. And then I felt really sick and thought I'd go back to bed. When I got to my door I felt all fuzzy and said - I need to get into bed fast. Then down I went. I was awake the whole time. But it was like when you see those buildings slowly collapse. I just crumbled gently to the floor and couldn't do anything about it. Well it was gentle until the part where my head smacked into the edge of the bedside table. That hurts today. Bruised and sore. Also a bruised leg and sore finger.

I got into bed afterwards and started wondering if I'd had a mini stroke. I was wishing I'd paid more attention to that email that keeps coming around telling you what you should check for after a dizzy fall to see if you should get to a hospital. But I could talk and move my arms and my smile wasn't crooked. So who knows.

When Daz woke up I said to him - I fainted last night. After I told him he said he was watching TV and he heard a big bang and he went to look around to see what it was.

So apart from that - I'm going shopping for a laptop today. I have two orders of magnets now as well that need to be printed out and I don't want to keep the people waiting.

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Seven days without my laptop.

And counting. The seconds, slowly ticking by.

It's not so much that I mind it being gone. it's not being informed of whats going on with it. Ok, thats a lie. I'm really pissed off that its gone. Especially when I was told it would only take two hours labour to fix it.

And what really pisses me off is how I sent an email saying I needed it back because its got coasters on it I need to make and he sent me back an email saying he's been up since 5am that morning working on it.

And?

Who cares?

This is a business he runs - I don't care what time he gets up.

It's like the plumber. We have an issue with some pipes at the moment. When I have a shower, if I use my imagination (which is a good one) I can imagine I'm in New Zealand at those mud springs. Because the toilet makes that glop, glop, glop sound and bubbles away. If someones goes to the toilet and flushes while someone is having a shower, the toilet will overflow. Which is not good. It was funny the first time but I can assure you the novelty wears off. So daz rang the plimber who said he can't possibly come and look for two weeks. And anyway, he doesn't have the necessary equipment to fix it. Hello?? He runs his own business. And he doesn't have the equipment.

It all reminds me of the work shirts we had printed. When we picked them up they had spelled refrigeration wrong. When Daz took them back and pointed it out to the woman she said - If you wanted a better job done you should've got a professional to do them. Well, we thought you were love.

I think I could snap today.

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I've been back to the old peoples home a couple of times. Old people must feel the cold because they have it bloody hot in there. I always leave feeling dehydrated.

But its been good. I just go around and talk to people or read the paper to them and help them on the computer. One woman loves the computer and gets a lot of emails but she didn't know how to forward emails. That was a bit sad actually. I thought, do your kids get so damn busy that they don't even have the time to show you how to forward an email. Anyway I showed her and left some written notes and told her to email me if she had any problems. She sent me an email saying thank you and how much she appreciated the help and how I hadn't made her feel stupid.

Because I've noticed that people do tend to talk to old people as if they're stupid. They do if to my father. And he probably does look a bit stupid because he's had a stroke and he's all crooked. And though he may be cranky and difficult and stubborn he is definitely not stupid. But people tend to talk to him VERY LOUDLY and in a manner that
would make you assume he was a five year old with a particularly bad learning disability.

He was in hospital recently and I sent Daz to visit him and he said he could hear a few nurses yelling at Dad when he was walking down the hallway. They were telling him he was being difficult and that he wasn't trying. And then they were talking about him in front of him instead of talking to him. They were saying he wasn't trying because he wouldn't sit on the edge of the bed like they wanted him to. Well he only has one side that works so it's hard at the best of times to balance on the edge of a bed. So Dad got Daz to pick him up and carry him to a chair and they all freaked out because you're not allowed to lift people. Nurses won't even lift people any more because of a bad back policy they have. So they told Dad he'd have to sit in the chair all day until the machine came to lift him back into bed but he said bugger that and told Daz to lift him back into bed. Then he told them if they all just stopped yelling at him and spoke to him like a normal person everything would be much better.

Thats all anyone wants really, to be treated with a bit of respect.

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If my laptop required two hours labour time to fix it, how come it's been at the repair shop for four days?

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OH SHIT!!!

Those are not words that you really want to hear from your hairdresser while she's rinsing your hair.

I heard them this morning.

After OH SHIT - came - Thats not good.

When my friendly home hairdresser arrived she had a plan. It involved more bleach than usual to blend in those grey roots and get rid of those last few pesky black bits underneath. She had done it on a friend over the weekend and it had been a big success.

Unlike the hairdressing salon where they keep you well away from all mirrors until they tone down any problems, she took me straight to the bathroom mirror to view the full glory of my new white and yellow hair.

So it was back to the chair to put some colour back into it and a few dark foils for good measure and some ash on the ends to round things off.

I said - I'm not going to end up like a tortoise shell cat am I? and - My hair isn't going to fall out is it?

But it all ended up ok, with just a slightly tender scalp.  And the blonding process is back on track. And she said she knows now that I could go REALLY blonde if I wanted to.

I think I'll put a treatment in it and leave it alone for a few days.

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My daughter lives 100 kilometres away, yet I was woken by her at 3am this morning creeping into my bed to tell me about her night. It seemed to involve a new hot crush, an old hot crush. who is apparently so hot he's making it hard for her to get over him, a popcorn party and a gang fight that involved knives.

She's gone home again now. Thats after laying around all morning on various beds and lounges (and I believe the toilet floor for a while), saying that it must be a stomach bug not a hangover. Althoug I did hear her mumble - I'm never drinking again. I wonder how many times that sentence has been said since the dawn of alcohol.

These photos came via email this morning. I'm wondering if it might be Flamingo at western plains zoo.

Who's going to change the tyre?

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I don't know why people give sychronised swimming such a hard time. It looks like bloody hard work. And those girls are fit.

I've been watching a lot of the olympics. I had a large order of coasters so I've been in front of the tv making them. And I've heard a lot of stupid remarks made by commentators.

I was watching the BMX bikes yesterday and the guy said that

Some of the riders have realised they are going to have to ride very fast to make the finals.

Only some of them mind you. The rest of them are taking it easy at the back thinking they'll just cruise through. I'm sure they don't make it to the olympics then think - oh shit, I'm really going to have to ride fast here.

I decided two days ago I was not going to watch the news again until Colin had been dealt with. But there seems to be no avoiding it. And he's just been dealt with. We are very lucky here on the east coast of australia that at this time each year humpback whales migrate from Antarctica up to the barrier reef. They travel right along the beaches and you can be within metres of them. There is a law that you have to stay 100 metres away from them mind you. And they hang around and play and we flock to the shores to marvel at them as they are magnificent. But this year we had Colin (god knows why we named him, it was always going to end badly). He became lost from his mother and today they decided to euthanase him as there was no way he could survive. People are a bit up in arms about it thinking more should have been done. But he needs to suckle for a lot longer then needs krill which we don't have, plus he's going to end up huge.

This week there was a story in the paper about three kids under age 9 who have been sleeping in a dumpster in a NSW town. And really I probably shouldn't be suprised, but everyone seems much more worried about finding Colins mum than they do about finding these kids mum. Not the police and docs mind you, I mean the media and public. If the whales hadn't of been so close to shore we'd never have known about it and nature would have taken it's course. I think that would have involved sharks.

So a sad end for Colin - it's safe for me to watch the news again.

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This is what $73.00 gets you. May as well just round it up to Bugger All.

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As you may notice I forgot to get tomatoes. Which is why I just had to slice up about ten cherry tomatoes to put on my sandwich.

I did find someone had left these in the fridge. You wonder why they bothered. I mean I bet they weren't planning on coming back for them.

Scraps

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