last chance training

nobody@vox.com(cat) — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 12:24:33 +1100

Yep, this morning was my last chance training session. Because tomorrow is the day I go shopping for a pair of swimmers.

See, I've been trialling this new way of living where I take one day at a time. Just live that day. Don't worry about the future and forget about the past. The one flaw with this plan is that one day you happen to glance at your calender and realise you'll be leaving for Thailand in three weeks and don't have a thing organised.

So I'm off to the big(ish) smoke tomorrow on the dreaded swimming costume search. I will have an egg on toast and a glass of juice before I go so I feel fortified and strong. You don't want to risk any mid afternoon blood sugar level drops because that could lead to depression and feelings of self loathing.

One thing you must remember when trying on swimmers is that there will be none of those awful change room down lights that show up every dimple of cellulite, on the beach. Another thing to remember is that 99% of people are perfectly average just like you. So unless there happens to be some sort of super model convention happening where we are I should be fine. And if there is...... well best not to even contemplate that.

But I am shopping for swimmers at a great time. I've just lost 7 kilos so I'm feeling pretty damn fine and this morning I managed to fit into a pair of size 10 Cue pants which didn't hurt the self confidence either. Plus it means I have something to wear to my nephews wedding next weekend.

But the main thing going in my favour are the people I'm travelling with. There will be my daughter Kimba and her friend Nat, both 21, almost 6 feet tall and gorgeous, and there will be Lizzie, 17, beautiful, all dark and mysterious. So no ones even going to be looking at me.

Of course Jem will be there as well. She's 5 years younger than me at 40. She's at that difficult age where you still feel like you have to show you've still got it. Whereas once you hit (almost) 46, you're not as hard on yourself. I mean there comes a time where you just have to say, this is it. This is me. I eat healthily, (well, except for the wine, but its not going anywhere) and I exercise like a demon, and this is as good as it's going to get. And its not that bad.

However, having said all that, I still find shopping for swimmers to be the most horrendous job out there. Hopefully it all goes to plan.

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things that go bump in the night

nobody@vox.com(cat) — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 11:04:26 +1100

Sometimes, when its late at night, and I'm lying in bed trying to sleep, I feel like walking up to Lizzie's room and saying to her

what the fuck are you actually doing?

Because it sounds to me like she's moving a large herd of cattle through a small obstacle course.

Or sometimes its like hospital noises. You know, random things crashing about, television blasting, phones ringing, laughing. At any moment I expect her to crank up the vacuum cleaner.

And I'm beginning to think she's retarded in some way. Because no matter how many times I ask her to try and be quiet after 10.30pm, she persists in being exactly the opposite.

It seems that she lives in the filth and squalor that only a teenager can live in for months, then suddenly decides she must clean her room at 11.30pm.

This also requires a loud thumping up the hallway past my bedroom to the bathroom, where she deposits an extremely large pile of dirty washing which she is always surprised to find hasn't been washed ready for her by the next morning. It also means a large pile of towels to be washed, some of which feel suspiciously like they have never been used, just left on the floor for a while.

Now here it is, 11am and she's still in bed. Meanwhile I had to be up at 5.30am to fit a 30km bike ride in before my day even began and she'll be up soon wondering why I need an afternoon nap.

I wonder if you can have morning tea naps.

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mr king parrot comes to visit

nobody@vox.com(cat) — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:25:42 +1100

Thank god its only 24 degrees today. Thats 20 degrees cooler than yesterday. We've had four days over 40 (thats over 100). Tells of a hot summer coming up. Already bush fires all over the state.

And yesterday this poor old King Parrot dropped by looking for water. Its the second time I've seen him and he's about the most exotic thing I've ever seen in our backyard. Besides myself of course.

No idea what he's doing around these parts. They usually hang in rainforest type areas and that I can assure you we are not.

Wonder if he's someones pet. Hmmm.

Anyway of course yesterday was the day a leak appeared in the bird bath and there was harldy any water in it. So of course then I went in and gave Daz a serve for being a slack arse and not fixing it immediately and that now the poor bird would probably die from heat stroke and it would be all his fault.

But I've dragged an old bird bath out and filled it so hopefully he'll come back.

Hopefully Betty won't try to eat it. Because she hates magpies, (don't we all). Doves are ok. Magpies are scum.

So here are some fairly crap shots of the beautiful boy. I didn't want to get too close and scare him off. He sounded exhausted. Those little strips of bluey green down his side are almost fluoro. (fluorescent for you non australians)

King-parrot

King-parrot-2

King-parrot-3

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baby freaks out

nobody@vox.com(cat) — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 18:22:04 +1100

I was walking home the other night and I saw this baby living in a window.

She looked extremely alarmed.

I can see why now.

She has to live in that glass box with the freaky half face there on the right.

It's like she's saying - get me the fuck outta here

114

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hot doggie

nobody@vox.com(cat) — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 13:06:44 +1100

It's 43 degrees celsius here today - which is about 109 fahrenheit. Just round it up to bloody hot. I probably should go out and water the tomatoes but last time I went outside I thought I might suffocate.

I was going to bake chickens for dinner tonight to have with salad but I'm cooking them now and we can have them cold. Will be too hot later to cook. Even with the aircon on the whole room ends up like an oven.

Betty and I have decided we'll stay in for the rest of the day. Except I might go and pick up Lizzie from school otherwise she'll have a fairly hot walk down a long road that has no shade.

I thought there used to be a rule where if it reached 40 we could go home from school. I don't think they have that anymore. Even though not all the rooms are airconditioned at our school.

So this is my view at the moment.

Hot-doggie

It comes with sound effects as well. Snotty snoring types of ones.

Hot-dog

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fighting genetics

nobody@vox.com(cat) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:11:44 +1100

I have come to the conclusion that no matter how far I run, how many lunges I do, how many upward dogs and downward dogs, three legged dogs or pigeon fuckers I do, I will always have my mothers legs.

It has been a disappointing realisation.

By the way, there is no yoga position called a pigeon fucker.

Its just pigeon. But I used to work with a guy and his nickname was The Pigeon Fucker.

Not that he did mind you. Well, not that I know of.

He was french. Its a long story. And I think you had to be there.

Anyway the point is genetics suck.

Its a constant battle fighting them.

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QotD: It's a Zoo in Here!

nobody@vox.com(cat) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 17:41:21 +1100

What's the first exhibit you visit at the zoo?

I personally find the zoo to be the most depressing place you could ever visit. I know they've come a long way but they're still bloody awful places so I try to avoid them.

However I did once have young children, and its pretty hard to get away with never taking them to the zoo. I refused to take them to the circus so I gave in on the zoo.

And it only cost an arm and a half a leg for the admission fee. Hopefully they're spending it all on more improvements.

So I did like the elephants. I'd like to get in there and touch one, feel the texture.

hey, I'll probably be able to in Thailand - they're probably all over the place being made to make tourists happy

Elephant

And I like the meerkats - they're always too much.

This one obviously wasn't sitting in an armchair, but he was just asking to be put into one.

Chillin-out

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vintage black and white photos

nobody@vox.com(cat) — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 17:45:47 +1100

Some of Papa's photos mum found in an old album.

Diggers Ball, rural NSW - 1952.

Diggers-ball1952

Diggers-ball-1952

Diggers-ball-1952-the-comperes

Old-nick

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the maths teacher

nobody@vox.com(cat) — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 22:10:03 +1100

Well, Lizzie's school report came home today.

And before I start I just have to point out that she did lose her mojo this year. I dunno what happened. Friends, boyfriend, parties, turning 17. Shit happens.

But it came back, so she told me we have to ignore this report.

So the first subject I came to was Maths.

And I really didn't get past that because it was the funniest Teacher Comment I think I've ever read on a report.

it said.

Lizzie is a student with the ability required to do the work but finds it very difficult to fully concentrate on a task and is always talking with peers and occasionally eating.

I said to her - what are you occasionally eating?

But he is a bit of a nutter. One day there was a girl in the class using one of those vicks inhalers. You know the white sticks you put up your nose and inhale to clear your nose when you have a cold?

Anyway he rang up the girls mother and told her that she was sticking tampons up her nose during class.

Now I must admit that Lizzie did tell him that it was a tampon. But she was joking. And you'd think he would check before he rang and told the girls mother.

Children-are-a-blessing

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the home made swimmers

nobody@vox.com(cat) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:00:55 +1100

After looking through old photos of myself and my sibs when we were kids, I have come to the conclusion that we must have worn the most ridiculous, daggy swimmers you could ever hope (not) to see.

Now I myself only saw my mother sew once, when she sewed my bridesmaid doll a dress and cape. But these definitely have a home sewn look to them. And we seemed to wear them for years.

Take me here for instance. Determined to get to the beach. And nothin', not even those baggy daggy swimmers is going to stop me. I mean mother, you could've taken in the legs a little. I bet if I keep looking I'll see one of my sisters wearing these before I got them. Probably both of them.

And one of my favourite photos. Emjay, the oldest, with our brother and sister. Sporting a very unfashionable blue suit with a matching home done fringe trim.

And here she is again, what maybe a couple of years later, still wearing it.

Move forward another couple of years and my other sister is now wearing it and Emjay has a much nicer, yet still loose fitting pair of swimmers on. As you can see I'm still wearing the same pair I had on in the beginning. Because I had penty of room to grow into.

OMFG. And I was right. Even though I was only half joking. Here is Min, wearing my baggy pink swimmers. I wonder if I ever owned a new pair.

I have this vision of my mother, searching through her wardrobe every year the day before we went on our summer holidays, pulling out a bag full of atrocious old faded swimmers and handing us each a pair. Mind you it wouldn't have been a very full bag. We seemed to last through our childhoods with three of four pairs between us.

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