lioness heart

I watched a documentary once about lions. And it showed a scene where a lioness was protecting her three cubs from a pack of hyenas. Unsuccessfully I must say - I've been traumatised ever since. (Of course not so much as I was after watching the whole Joey scene in Faces in The Mob).

But I often think of that lioness because I often feel like her. The urge to protect my children is sometimes overwhelming. And often over trivial matters. Of course the older they get the harder it is to protect them. They are out in the world. Out of your control. In fact at the moment I find myself having very fond feelings towards a large pacific island gentleman who is a bouncer at the pub that Kimba goes to and has become a friend of hers. I sleep easier knowing he's looking out for her and will smash to pieces anyone that bothers her. Its good to know.

And then theres Lizzie. A couple of days ago she had a stye form on her eye. It was red and sore so I told her to come home if it got too bad. So she went to the sick bay at lunch time and told the woman in charge. This woman told her it wasn't bad enough to go home and no she couldn't have any panadol either. And that she should just pin her hair back because thats like a major germ spreader and what do you expect and to go back to class. Well, when Lizzie told me this, I felt like going up to the school and finding this woman and smashing her head against a brick wall. I really get this internal rage that someone will decide this for my child who is not a whiner or complainer or trouble maker and its just a couple of bloody panadol.

Sigh - and Lloyd. Off to jaunt around europe and america next week. He's gone out in town tonight and I won't sleep until I know he's home safely in bed. Yet I find him researching web sites such as sleepinginginairports.com. He asked me today will I miss him but I told him that basically I'll just be blocking him out for a few months and pretending he doesn't exist so I don't have to worry about him. I remember once when Lloyd was about five he told me a boy was bullying him at school and one afternoon I got him to point this kid out and I stormed up to him and told him what a nasty little loser he was and basically threatened him.

So anyone - tell me about New Orleans airport at midnight? If you have to - lie to me.